Top 5 Things on Frank’s Bookshelf
by F.G.
Hablawi
1976 Pepsi
Moon Glass featuring the Joker
I got
this creepy sonofabitch as part of an estate sale I don’t remember
attending. Seriously. I have no damn memory regarding this thing
before two years ago, and I remember every little piece of nostalgia that has
ever entered my life. Its part of a line
of collectable drinking glasses, called Moon Glasses, issued by Pepsi in 1976
that featured various comic book characters.
This one features the Joker, laughing at me and burning holes in my mind
with his cheap painted on eyes. I think
I need to turn this glass around now…
Oh
crap, he’s on both sides!
Tort and
Compensation by Dobbs and Hayden (fourth edition)
A
book from my law school days, this heavy tome serves several key purposes in my
life. It is a useful reference for all
those questions on Tort Law that keep me up late at night playing videogames
instead of taking life seriously like I should.
It looks cool on my shelf, and makes me seem smart and well-read,
balancing out the many comic books and Choose
Your Own Adventures that otherwise litter my bookcases. Finally, it is chock-full of horrible
mutilations and violent dismemberment stories that make up actual
tort-law. Remind me never to work on a
construction site without a hard-hat and a codpiece.
Court Room with Judge Snyder
Blue Hair Lawyer
Lionel Hutz
Now
this is what the law is really
about. When I graduated from college, my
friends and I bought each other gifts to celebrate. Dave and I bought Rick a writer’s fountain
pen set, and Rick and I bought Dave a leather bible (I think it was the
director’s cut). Those two bastards
joined forces and bought me an addiction.
You
see, that was when I got my first Simpsons Environment Playset,
those interactive talking dioramas that feature just about every character and
location from the series. They got me
the Nuclear Power Plant as well as Bart Simpson, and over the years I’ve added
more and more to my collection. This is
the Court Room location setup with Judge Snyder, the Blue Hair Lawyer (yes,
that’s his actual name), and Lionel Hutz himself.
Interesting
note; this play set taught me more about being a lawyer then all the legal
seminars and courses I refused to attend at law school. I learnt about not mentioning my blintzes
during trial, never forgetting to wear my pants, and dealing with stress in the
workplace. As Lionel Hutz
says, “If I hear ‘Objection Sustained’ one more time today, I think I’m going
to scream!”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The Original
Radio Scripts (1985)
In
the interest of brevity, I can not go
into the detail necessary to adequately describe how much this radio
show/book/movie/zeitgeist meant to me growing up. The novel, I believe, was the first to enter
my life, but I soon found and fell in love with the radio show that started it
all. This book collects the scripts from
the original radio series from the BBC, and presents them in convenient text
format! Douglas Adams’ hilarious writing
style is probably the number one reason I got into radio, started
NonProductive, and can’t find a date for Saturday night.
Cluckers by Hubba Bubba
What
can I say, it’s a chicken, it’s a wind up, it poops gummy eggs out of its
corn-hole – it’s the single greatest thing on our list! This neat little girl actually hops around
and “lays” brightly colored gummy eggs that you refill by decapitating the
chicken and stuffing candy down the throat hole whenever she goes empty. Mutilation, winding, and candy-crap – it’s
got it all! I’ve always loved windup
thingies, and have a vast collection of anything spring loaded and odd, so this
girl is right at home on my bookshelf.
Best of all, it was a gift from my favorite Little, Sam – the hostess
with the mostess
of our very own NonProductive radio show.
I’m all a-gush!
Here’s a movie of the Chicken doing what it do.
Honorable Mention: Picture of Sean Connery
Autographed by Roger Moore
Yeah, I have it all.
-- Frank
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Copyright
2006 F.G. Hablawi. All Rights Reserved.