Watch out for Snakes on a Plane
A film review as if you really needed it… by Frank
Hablawi
Ok, so we’ve all heard of Snakes on a Plane, the phenomenon that
struck the globe in the summer of ‘06, not as crazy as the Son of Sam but a hell
of a lot funnier. Still, I think, it is
worthwhile reviewing how some of us first heard the good word. I didn’t hear about the film until the
legendary threat of a “walk out” by its star, Samuel L. Jackson. As rumor had it, Samuel was starring in this
new B-movie, and the producers of the film were planning on changing the title
to “Pacific Air Flight 121” from its working title. Samuel would not stand for this, as I was led
to believe, and threatened to walk out of the picture, refuse to promote the
film, raise a law suit, and of course rein terrible vengeance down upon the
producers if they went ahead and changed the name of the film. Strange behavior, to say the least, and for
what? The name of a B-movie?
But then I heard the name of
the film. Snakes on a Plane.
Then I heard the premise of
the film. Also, snakes on a plane.
Needless to say, I instantly
understood Mr. Jackson’s moral stand, and what’s more I saluted him.
Snakes on a Plane was the perfect title for the type of film this was to be – easy. What do I mean by calling the film
“easy”? Well, the concept is painfully
simple and absolutely ridiculous.
Assassins flood a commercial airliner with poisonous snakes in order to
eliminate a target, and Samuel L. Jackson is the lone FBI agent that stands in
their way. Brief as that last sentence
was, the real synopsis can be drafted even finer. It’s about snakes… on a plane. If I wanted to kid myself, I could say the
film examines two widely held fears that plague humanity, I could say it is a
metaphor for the irrational paranoia we all have in this age of terrorism, I
could even say that this is the Jaws
of commercial air traffic – but I won’t.
It’s not really about all those things. It’s about sitting back, eating popcorn, and
screaming at something that is more startling then scary. It’s a film that finally takes itself about
as seriously as films these days deserve – which is not at all.
Now, I love me some
pretentious film. Really, I do, I admit
it. I’ve even been accused of being a
snob; some films just can’t win with me no matter how many explosions or cool
special effects they have. I almost
always prefer the book to the movie. My
love of the source material often puts a cap on how much fun I can have in that
theater.
But with Snakes on a Plane, all that
changed. The plot was lame, the acting…
well, honestly, I didn’t bother to take notice (I can’t recall it being bad,
and even think it was pretty good), the special effects won’t be keeping me up
at night wondering how they pulled it off.
But the movie was fun, very fun, and was fun for months before I even walked into the theater. Don’t get me wrong, the phenomenon of S.O.A.P
had a lot more to do with why I enjoyed the film then any director, actor, or
soundtrack associated with this movie.
It was fun because it had to be. How could a movie about killer snakes on a
plane be anything but a silly romp of unconditional hilarity? If you were upset about Snakes on a Plane you were probably going to be a humorless prick
for the rest of your life.
And that’s why Samuel L.
Jackson made his stand on the title.
That’s why, in fact, he chose to make the film based on the title
alone. It is the most honest thing I
have ever heard, a title that casts no shadows or allusions to greatness.
A film like this doesn’t
need critical review, that’s for certain.
If I or any other critic comes out against this film, it won’t make any
fewer people go see it. Likewise, my praise
will probably not inspire many more to wait on line to see a movie with a title
and premise like Snakes on a Plane,
assuming that they weren’t already ready to go.
So, as I said, Samuel’s
stand made me take notice of the film, and I’ve been waiting patiently ever since. The fans really took over the promotions of
this movie, making parodies and fan posters and god knows what else. New Line was smart to stand back and allow
the fans to do their work, even granting a special license to the people at
Cafepress to allow people to make and sell their own merchandise on their
website. (Heck, we here at NonProductive even have a few items for
sale, and a contest
to determine our very own S.O.A.P merchandise!)
The only sad point in all
this is that inevitably some marketing “geniuses” will try to capitalize on
this phenomenon for their own pet projects.
What was a pure fluke will become the next stage of advertising and
every summer from now on we will all be inundated with a “wacky” campaign for
whatever schlock film a bunch of executives decided to pull out of a hat. Alas, we should all enjoy this while it
lasts.
And enjoy it we did. Tonight, my friends and I went to see a
special premiere showing of that soon-to-be classic of (at least cult) cinema, Snakes on a Plane. We all went black tie, in suits and cocktail
dresses, we passed out rubber snakes and the girls all got glow in the dark
Snake-Plane-Rose corsages. We shouted
and cheered and threw toy snakes into the audience. We cracked wise with the best of them and
some of us couldn’t help but scream back at the film whenever it looked like
Sam was gonna get bit. It was an
experience of a lifetime.
**********
Final Grade:
**********
Bonus Material!
It was the experience of a
lifetime, and now you can listen in!
Click below to hear our very special uncut interviews from the premiere of Snakes on a Plane!
Pre Show
Interviews (Uncut)
Post Show
Interviews (Uncut)
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Copyright 2006 F.G. Hablawi. All Rights Reserve