“The crew answers Fan Mail, talks about the Olympics, designs the NonPro Drinking Game, invents Brutal Sports, and welcomes back Mollie!”
Season: 11
Network: WRSU
Host: Jim Schreyer
Ohmigod!
It’s no secret NonProductive fans that I am not a “Cloverfield” fan. I have no intention of seeing this film for two big reasons. One, monster movies are lame. Two, it looks pretty damn icky from my fabulously girly POV.
Nevertheless, I know when I have a duty to save someone from embarrassment.
According to a Sci Fi post, “Cloverfield” director Matt Reeves has said that a sequel to the 2007 film is currently on hold until the filmmakers “can come up with an idea as interesting as the original.”
SPOILERS: I didn’t see the film by from what I understand isn’t it implied that everyone is kinda killed by some lame-ass monster. Some ideas that have been thrown around involve a prequel that follows the monster pre-NY City attack. Last time I checked watching eggs hatch was not all that exciting. Another idea involved following the same night with different characters. The film would be called “Cloverfield 2″ “Cloverfield.”
Big hint to the super hotshot director: if you have to put a sequel on hold so you can think of something interesting and original to write about, chances are you should ditch the project entirely. My co-hosts will probably disagree but I’m cooler than them so my opinion matters more.
I have said on the show before that some movies should never be messed with and despite never seeing this film, I believe it is one of them. “The Blair Witch 2″ tried to ride the unexpected hit wave and that wave broke on the shore of broken dreams. Sometimes you should just quit while you are ahead.
Till Next Time,
Samantha “Looking Out for the Greater Good” Little
Ohmigod!
This week’s award goes to a German man who decided to protest high gas prices by writing an angry letter, waving a sign in front of city hall, torching his car on the lawn in front of Frankfurt’s convention center in Berlin. I kid you not NonProductive fans!
The 30-year-old unemployed man drove his black 1995 BMW 3-series sedan onto the convention lawn around 7:30 a.m. on Friday, doused the car in gasoline, and then watched it light up like a Christmas tree…that had been lit on fire. Police say the man admitted to burning his car because he could no longer afford to put gas into the darn thing.
Why is this man my dumbass of the week? The reason is because there are so many other things the man could have done with his car. This includes:
1. Sell the car for parts which is a profitable industry especially if you steal them.
2. Recreate that White Snake video by dancing on the hood.
3. Only use the car when needed. Choose public transportation when available.
4. Get a job so you can afford gas you lazy SOB.
For the full story, written miraculously in a serious manner, click here.
Congratulations random German man…you are NonProductive’s Dumbass of the Week!
Keep your flame bright,
Samantha “I would dance on your car hood” Little
I was super bored NonPro fans so I found this great South Park character generator and went crazy. Enjoy!
A Very NonProductive Fairytale
NonProductive & The Loud Idiots About to Engage in Mortal Combat!
Create your own South Park characters here! Feel free to post your favorites here!
Happy Creating!
xoxo,
Samantha “Cheerleader-Princess” Little
NonProductive celebrates George Carlin and goes to Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors… with special guests the Loud Idiots!
Special Extended Episode
Season: 11
Network: Click Radio
Host: Samantha Little
File Download (120:00 min / 55 MB)
Frank Hablawi, Jon Dugan, Lindsey Saultz, and Ken Smith talk about George Carlin and play some of the comedian’s albums.
Season: 11
Network: Click Radio
Host: Samantha Little
File Download (60:00 min / 29 MB)
Ohmigod!
Sorry gang about the ‘Happily Ever After’ article that spewed controversy for a few minutes. Apparently the so called ‘depressing’ article was a bit too unfunny for NonProductive. Sorry gang but tonight I have written something equally as horrible.
I have an impeccable memory. I can pull things out my ass that few can believe that I can actually both recall and articulate. It is sometimes only a photographic memory. I remember my first grade play and what my line was, “A is for the Angels.” I can remember when I went to my Catholic grammar school before I went to kindergarten so they could assess my current standing at four years old. I remember the teacher who administered the test. I remember getting a box and having to put the little plastic baby figure in the bed. I remember being in preschool and learning the alphabet courtesy of the ‘alphabet people.’
Not all of the memories I can recall are good ones. I can remember both the date my great grandmother died as well as recall the funeral in graphic detail with everything from the coffin color, to what the room looked like, to which toy I brought for the car ride down to
Vineland.
It is not that I do not remember happy memories but the negative are imprinted into my brain. I must have been traumatized…a lot.
Perhaps I am just a big loser and everyone actually can recall all of these things but I think there is more to that. I am a dweller. I have a tendency to remember things long after they are over. In many ways a gift and in others a curse.
I sometimes wish that I lose the little piece of my memory that houses all the bad memories I have ever suffered from. I realize this is ridiculous and I’m sure a host of people with Alzheimer’s would agree.
Oh well, if Spiderman could have a song called “Gifts and Curses” by Yellowcard attached to his second movie, than I guess I can live with my Gift/Curse as well.
<3
Hang in there baby,
Sam Little
NonProductive coverage begins at 8-10pm this Thursday, June 26, 2008 on
Click Radio at HearNewBrunswick.com
Tune into NonProductive and The Loud Idiots, Thursdays from 8-10pm and 10-11pm for running con coverage of all the gore from FANGORIA this weekend! Including interviews with the cast of Night of the Living Dead and author Gary Frank. Also, the seven-deadly sins of George Carlin and NonProductive goes Ghost Hunting!
WARNING: I’m About to Shatter My Own Childhood…And Possibly Yours Too.
The plot always goes the same. You start with a girl. She’s plain and simple in every way but she has a kind heart and big dreams that she longs to fulfill. Enter the antagonist unusually in the form of a queen, stepmother, or unfortunate looking classmate. Young girl struggles with adversity but ultimately achieves all her dreams. The evil queen/stepmother/unfortunate looking classmate is killed/put in her place/embarrassed in front of a large crowd of peers. Our lovely, beautiful young lady marries, becomes a princess or prom queen (provided that she isn’t already on), and rides off into the sunset with her true love to live happily ever after.
What a crock of grade-A bullshit.
For my entire life, I have tried to make my own fairytale. I gave everybody a fair chance to be my friend, obeyed my parents religiously, and studied hard in school. All this in the hopes that I would one day ride off into the sunset with all of my fondest wishes fulfilled.
Instead of the princess, I am a slave to my job, my internship, time, obligations, etc. Instead of cosmic struggles that enable quick success, I am forced to merely meander through my normal life without the opportunity or motivation to achieve any promotion out of my current standing. Instead of riding into the sunset, I am forced to spend a mere two hours a week with my one true love, NonProductive.
At the tender age of 21, I have come to the realization that life doesn’t work like a fairytale. That sometimes, some other maiden rides off with your prince, some other scoundrel manages to weasel his way into the position you been craving, or some other evil queen destroys the life you have worked so hard to maintain. I have come to the realization that no matter what you do, there will always be another obstacle to keep you from achieving ‘happily ever after.’ Even when it seems that you are at the top, there is always a cloud obscuring the true peak. (How depressing is that?) Every cloud has to silver lining though. While this modern day fairytale doesn’t end with fulfilled dreams and carriage rides into the sunset, it does end with a wish. A wish that I’ll get to live the fairytale, be the princess, and have instant karma eventually catch up to the queen.
I never want to have my dreams fulfilled. For if my all my dreams come true, the nights would made up off silence and darkness…
And every good princess knows that darkness is a sad way to end a fairytale.
HHH: Heads Held High, we all get what we deserve…eventually
Till Next Time Dreamers,
Samantha “I’ll Get My Fairytale Someday” Little
“Jim’s and guests talk about fallen comedians.”
Season: 11
Network: WRSU
Host: Jim Schreyer
