Charlie Sheen is the worst of all sheens.
Archive for March 2nd, 2011
Now, for those of you not in the know, the traditional bracket system is a single elimination tournament of 64 teams with a complicated system of conferences, seeds, pods, and probably magic. Ours is a lot like that as well, complete with a highly-obfuscated governing body that willy-nilly decided to leave off such essential TV fare as Monty Python and Manimal. (I mean, come on.) Also, thanks to time restraints, we had to start with a measly 32 teams instead of the full 64.
First, let’s talk about what this is and what it isn’t.
70s/80s/90s Action SciFi Fantasy Fusion
The shows on our list were selected because they represent a period of television known for producing obsessive fans, as well as having a strong and clearly defined influence from the original creator. One would be hard pressed to remember anything from the 80s that didn’t reek of Bellisario, and thus his conference is a strong and powerful one, but the volume of the Whedonverse also cannot be denied. There is a special focus on cool vehicles in most of the teams represented on our list, as well as some of the best theme songs of all time.
Basically, there are a lot more shows that may deserve to be on our list, but the ones we have chosen to run with have clearly earned the right to be purchased from shady men in the dealer’s room of many a fine fan convention.
The Bracket System
Each round, our list of entries will be drastically cut by half, as one show will sorely trash the hell out of the other it was pitted against. Quite often, the biggest best teams are put against the weakest teams to start – to better satiate the blood thirst of fans. Let’s face it: we can’t wait to see what happens to RipTide in our little contest. Ouch.
But there is another side of this equation: Fans can be unrelenting with the thing that holds their hearts, and just because one fella thinks that Knight Rider would kick the ever living shit out of 21 Jump Street, doesn’t mean that the masses also think it’s so.
Ok, let’s start talking shop, shall we?
Round One: The Initial Match-Ups
A-Team vs. Dollhouse
The 80s greatest mercenary team versus the hot and sexy assassins of the future. Should be a very interesting (and bloody) match.
Heroes vs. The Incredible Hulk
Perhaps the first great superhero show on television versus the other first great superhero show on television.
Buffy vs. Brimstone
She fights evil over a Hell Mouth, he fights evil after escaping Hell. Together they
fight crime fight to the death.
Star Trek vs. Red Dwarf
Would you rather be stuck on a star ship with Lister or Captain Kirk? One would stink up the place, the other would steal your girlfriend. We’re not sure which is which.
Knight Rider vs. FRINGE
Here’s the Secret: Dr. Bishop’s first job was actually with the Foundation for Law and Government.
Magnum PI vs. Buck Rogers
The lead actors of either of these series could make your mother leave your father in the blink of an eye. And probably have.
Quantum Leap vs. Battlestar Galactica
Dr. Samuel Beckett is actually in the middle of a leap to correct what went wrong with the BSG relaunch finale.
Alias vs. V
Inside every good alien is a reptilian horror, inside every good Jessica Alba is cat-DNA, apparently.
X-Files vs. Millennium
Whoa! The Chris Carter-verse shakes as we get a creator mirror-match early on in the conflict! Which brooding, flashlight-wielding show will win??
21 Jump Street vs. Firefly
The show that launched Johnny Depp’s career versus the show that was killed by Nathan Fillion’s.
LOST vs. Sliders
It’s like choosing between being lost and staying still, or being lost while constantly moving from dimension to dimension (well… until the fourth season).
6 Million Dollar Man vs. Angel
Both shows feature unstoppable ass-kicking machines, only one featured Bigfoot. Guess which one?
Dr Who vs. RipTide
Um… did you know that RipTide had a speedboat? AND A ROBOT?? So… yeah.
Miami Vice vs. The Greatest American Hero
This contest is the closest we’ll come to having a “nerds” versus “preps” battle on our forums.
Dukes of Hazzard vs. Starsky & Hutch
…and this one is country mouse versus city mouse. Will the good ole boys beat the law once and for all?
Airwolf vs. The Fall Guy
If anyone could survive a battle with a military helicopter, it would have to be Colt Seavers.
Alright people, those are your choices, may the best shows survive to Round 2! Vote early, vote often, and be sure to make a fuss and tell your fellow fans!